Cadet Spif is yet another villainous figure corroding the beautiful face of the galaxy. He flies throughout the galaxy upon a metallic bird, his weapon of choice a groovy sword that can heat to a painfully high temperature, and therefore cut through most things as if they were soft butter...mmmmm...soft, creamy butter... ...anyway, he also claims to be Cap'n Spiffy's illegitimate son due to the fact that their last names share the same first four letters, and despite the fact that all evidence of his being Spiffy's son was edited out of previous issues. His obvious psychological issues have only been exacerbated by the fact that even the plot won't cooperate with him, and as a result, he spends most of his free time writing bad poetry about how he hates his 'dad,' listening to loud music in his room, and neglecting his personal hygiene. Spif doesn't care about story continuity, he just wants revenge.